An Open Letter

I wrote this letter to my dad, in search and support of the dream which I see.

I never thought to post this private life of mine, but somewhere everything that appear on our blog and social networks are all private. I share this piece with you all, just because if someday I reach to my dream, I can see the post again and compare it with the time. 

Here it goes..

It’s been one year, since I completed my engineering.

In life, we always love to see dreams. With dreams comes focus or target, there lies the term achievement. Setting goals, keeps the motive of our life. Satisfaction is just lethargy which prevents from all the excitement of life.

Here, I am, writing this mail, with a much level matured thinking of past 6 months, when I am aiming to live life for my much desire standard.

Goals.  Yes, for which life means to be. As, you know, there are 2 types of goals, short-term and long-term. My life, after engineering was to achieve the short term goal, though the long term was prevailing since the time I was in 3^rd year. But, as always legends say, you need to step the small stones before you reach Rome. My short-term goal was just for the satisfaction of you, family and relatives may be for the neighbourhood. In India, we always love to see kids of other houses fail and if they succeed, we love to compare them with kids of our houses.

Hence, my short term goal was to anyhow get an entry level job just to shut the mouth of million blood counts who thought I am not capable enough of getting a job after engineering (baap ka paisa se). So, you may not be aware, how much was the hunger inside me, just to get cap as employed. Yes, I fought the battle and won it. The first guy in my college who got a real job and joined the company with his own ability. Behind, this sentence, there lies no arrogance; it’s only because of the burp after the appetite was met when I got the job, so mentioned.

Getting satisfied within was never my cup of tea. If anything in life, ever I achieved, I do cherish but next moment, I bite my finger nails and then think what next? Yes, I lived my job for the early 6 months. But, since then though I am 100% inside my job, I wanted to question within, how much can I see, where is the horizon? Then, the wind inside my stomach started to grew, the dream which I saw in 3^rd year, which always prevailed inside me, started to provoke me to go for MBA. Yes, the field which I am interested in. MBA in Marketing or Finance, from a A grade B College in India.

But, this dream is not lark. What I have seen for me, need a yearlong preparation just to crack the entrance. I am not thinking about, MAT, ZAT, MH-CET or any other entrances. My focus is just on CAT, which is not a 3-4 months game.

I will be completing one year of my service and thereafter want to make this experience count for my MBA. I want to quit thereafter and start preparing for the entrances, For the next 12 months I want to eat, live and drink for CAT. The main reason behind leaving my job specifically after one year is, as CAT comes in the month of Oct-Nov, I will get a 3 month time and though I will be at preliminary level of preparation, I can appear for the test and can just gain the experience of pressure, which I can make a count for the next time when I appear.

Well, we can never keep the social litigations away from our life, I won’t lie that there will be a complete 24*7 hours of dedication. But, yes, I do have my glasses of focus on and I know what my job is. Don’t think, these are just casual words from my mouth. I will leave my job, I will be facing a dragon of problems. The pressure will be on me. I know all this and I know me mostly. This is not risk; this is a step for the dream. I want to enjoy the moment of it, as for the first time I willingly want to get prepared for any kind of exam. So, obviously, I will be preparing myself for next 12 months from the day I leave my job including all social affairs and litigations.

Why not staying in Job and preparing for CAT?

The question is obvious, if I am so dedicated, if I am so motivated, if I am so focussed for this dream, then why not getting prepared after office.

Yes, I also wanted this, who wants to reject handsome money coming to hand and getting bounded by parents. I tried this, often I did. But, this not happening, after office work, when you come to home you never feel that zeal to touch those things. My dream gets faded with this. I somehow feel, this journey will be more long and monotonous. I don’t want this. If I am in love with the thing I want to do, I will nurture it. It’s like those seeds put on the tub in the summer and not watering it. That’s why I want to put the seeds in the month of monsoon, so that it can flourish and give the fruits and flowers in the right time.

My only hidden fear within...

What I fear among all is, every time I will be at home, I won’t be able to seat with a fresh mind. The atmosphere lacks fresh breathe. The bond with you and maa which I share is not healthy and it’s better to keep a distance. That’s why, I will never like to get prepared from home. The only way left for me settling in other city or be in Kolkata and stay in some PG. But, I think I have another advantage on my shoulder. I can prepare myself sitting in Saltlake home alone. I don’t want anyone with myself. It will be peace for me. About food, I don’t think it will be a big problem, leaving 5 years of life away from home, I can manage it well. So there will be no hectic thing around me. Whenever I feel dull I can visit Barasat and spend some quality time in other relative houses. I need no friends for this one year, so no points of hangout with them.

This is my statement. I hope you understand my point of view. I will say, try my words, as always I may not live upto what you see in me, but definitely I will live to my dreams.